I will never forget sitting in front of a couch watching the
waves from the Pacific Ocean race over miles of land, devouring everything in
its path in seconds. Probably everyone who saw the TV that day surely has some
footage etched into their mind somewhere of the CNN news reports. The quake in
Japan is arguably one of the worst disasters to happen in recent years.
Although the devastation visible on television was a horrible feat to witness,
the waves of the tsunami and the tremors of the quake have crevices much deeper
than we could see through the cameras. The disaster at Fukushima later also
deepened these already open wounds. The Japanese psyche was wounded forever.
The position I stood in when the disaster struck was fairly
unique. In less than a month after that day, I was booked and ready to go to
Japan for a semester to study. My destination was Okayama, a city in the far
west next to Hiroshima, but I planned to land in Tokyo, stay a week, and take
some time to relax before I headed off to school in Okayama. Going to concerts
is my absolute favorite thing to do while in Japan, so I had planned and
checked off which concerts I would be going to during the week already. Not
having much money, I also planned to stay with a friend of mine while in Tokyo
and I was looking forward to that as well as my 4-month long semester. As my
friends and I sat watching those waves crash down and tear up everything in
their paths no one quite understood what was going on in my head. I had no idea
how this trip would turn out, if Tokyo would be fine, and if I could even get
into the country. Would the situation clear up in a month? Was it too late? Had my preparation for this
exchange program been in vain? This and a million other questions weighed in my
mind as I sat there in awe of the headlines.
The internet was plastered with another disturbing
report day after day. Eventually, it ended up coming to the devastating, “ all
Americans urged to evacuate Japan” one. I had no idea how to deal with this. It
was only days after the disaster and friends, family, and staff at my
university gently urged me not to go. Some people wondered if I would even
leave, and more people told me it would be absurd to even step foot in Tokyo. I
had no idea what I would do. The city was a mess. NHK showed people waiting in
line for hours to get on the Yamanote-sen, the most crowded train in Japan that
runs through inner Tokyo. Slowly, one by one, the websites of the live houses I
had planned to go to would post messages saying their concerts had been
canceled. This was due to the power shortages in Tokyo urging everyone to cut
down on power, which also explained the huge ques on trains: they were running
much less frequently. I had almost no hope as day after day bands apologized
sincerely on their websites for canceling shows, and one band from Aomori
canceled their entire tour(their families had probably been affected). No one
could possibly image how the situation getting worse everyday made me feel
about not just my own plans in Tokyo, but all that I had worked for to get into
this program deteriorate slowly day by day like a disease slowly killing its
host. I had no idea what to think.
It was all hard to believe. But this hell that existed on
TV, the nation in chaos, all existed so far away from me. But I would be there
soon.
A telephone call made to me one day was what hit me the
hardest and threw reality in my face. Suddenly getting up from bed, I answered
the telephone and my mom was on the line. “I don’t think you should go to Tokyo
anymore. We’ll have to change your flight. Listen to me, there really is
nothing you can do.”
My friend who I would be staying with in Tokyo had by this
time replied to me quite often. Her English was nearly perfect, so we could
have discussions that were quite apart from others I had with people in Japan.
From what I could gather she was completely torn up about the entire tragedy.
Besides the physical damage, which she often sent pictures of to me, the
disasters had clearly left something empty in her heart. There was something
not there anymore. You could just tell, even if I had only been talking to her
through email. Something was amiss. Honestly, I had wanted to see this Tokyo,
this nation in a state that hadn’t been seen for years. I wanted to be there,
in Japan, in this time where things were completely upside down. It would be a
heavy burden to bear but I wanted to see it. Curiosity was getting the better of
me. Furthermore, I wanted to be there for my friend who was in the middle of
all of this, walking in the streets somewhere in the footage news cameras
broadcasted every day. I wanted to be there with her to share this pain and
tell her everything would work itself out.
My mom was here, though, telling me to abandon that. I was
half asleep but her words reverberated in my ears for a long time. I had no
idea what to say. This was one of those times I would have to give in and
realize this was beyond my control.
And so, my mom thought of a number of things for me to do
instead. I had an aunt in Osaka that I had seen maybe once, when I was in
middle school. I had no idea how she looked. My flight was re-routed to Kansai
International airport, much closer to Okayama anyways, and my plans for going
to school were left unscathed by the aftershocks so often experienced by the
capitals inhabitants. I was still completely uneasy about all of this, but this
gave me some new hope. In addition, a band I had wanted to see in Tokyo
informed me personally that their show would be canceled due to power
restrictions. Finding out they had instead opted to play a show in Osaka, I
enthusiastically replied that I would be able to make it to that show instead.
I also ended up diving deep into the underground of Osaka’s music scene,
scouring the internet for places to best see live music, as well as what to
generally do when one goes to Osaka. I also had the opportunity to plan a side
journey to stay in Kyoto for a little bit with my professor’s in laws. It was
looking up for my pre-semester plans. While Tokyo lay in chaos, I had re-routed
my plans to have a peaceful stay in the West.
As the days neared the dust settled and eventually I would
have to leave and see what was up. Nothing much had happened over in Osaka,
even less so in Okayama. My friend in Tokyo was disappointed that I wouldn’t be
going, but I said it was all right. Let’s see what Kansai had in store for me.
-
~hideki~
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